


Losing Sleep

by Nyctolovian



Series: Nycto's TMA Safehouse [3]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dreams and Nightmares, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, Living Together, M/M, Nightmares, Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives), Sleeping Together, TMA Safehouse Fest (The Magnus Archives)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26944285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyctolovian/pseuds/Nyctolovian
Summary: It was this combination of lingering vices of the Lonely and the bliss of holding your sleeping partner that kept Martin awake at night. As though if he fell asleep, he'd wake up alone once more, and realise that it had all been but a self-indulgent dream, a brittle non-reality. So, despite his lead eyelids and slowing breaths, Martin found himself staying at the margins of consciousness for most of the night.That was why he noticed it when Jon had a nightmare.Jon and Martin may have escaped from the institute, but their inner demons have followed them into the safehouse, plaguing them when night falls. At least, however, they have each other.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: Nycto's TMA Safehouse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951927
Comments: 8
Kudos: 88





	Losing Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Living Together/Nightmare
> 
> By some miracle, I managed to get something out for Week 2 of TMA Safehouse Fest!! Ugh I have so many ideas but this difficulty to actually execute it so this is sorta version 5 of a bunch of domestic fluff WIPs. Maybe if i manage to finish the others, I'll upload them as well. 
> 
> Also, oops, im a bit scared of canon atm and am currently stopped at ep180 cos: wow. Ep 181 genuinely intimidates me. Why? The thought of forgetting important things and slowly losing consciousness + urself is Big Fear of mine. It's partly why ep170 gets me rly hard. Hopefully I'll eventually find the right mindspace to listen to it.
> 
> ANYWAY (sorry for always rambling at the start of all fics), please enjoy!!

It was difficult to fall asleep. Even after he had managed to leave the clutches of the Lonely, he could still feel the cool fog curl around his neck and slowly suffocate him. And the sensation was far more acute at night than in the morning. Luckily, he could feel the foggy tendrils thinning, losing their grip, little by little, losing him. It was taking time, but he had time. He and Jon had time, as much time as they needed, and they had found it in a safehouse in Scotland. 

Martin shifted on the soft bed to turn his body towards Jon's small slumbering frame, his chest rising and falling gently as moonlight streamed in and fell gracefully over his sleeping face like a light sheet of veil.

The sight made Martin's heart swell. They finally have each other. Years of running around in circles like headless chickens on a merry-go-round, and now they have each other, safe and warm, under heavy duvets and in each others' soft smells. Martin could still scarcely believe it.

It was this combination of lingering vices of the Lonely and the bliss of holding your sleeping partner that kept Martin awake at night. As though if he fell asleep, he'd wake up alone once more, and realise that it had all been but a self-indulgent dream, a brittle non-reality. So, despite his lead eyelids and slowing breaths, Martin found himself staying at the margins of consciousness for most of the night.

That was why he noticed it when Jon had a nightmare. 

If he hadn't been awake, he might have never known because Jon did not writhe or kick in his sleep. He simply stiffened and whimpered under his breath. Martin didn't catch the words at first. He had assumed Jon was only sleep-talking, one of his many strange quirks perhaps. But then Jon began to softly sob, and that was when Martin realised.

"No… I don't. I didn't mean…" He gasped into the sheets. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. … Please…"

"Jon?" Martin whispered, pushing himself up. 

That did nothing to rouse his boyfriend, who curled into himself, shaking imperceptibly. "... Won't hurt you… No, no, no…" His hands tightened into fists around the collar of his shirt. "Please," he whined.

Martin's chest constricted at the helpless squeak in his voice. As gently as he could, he rested a hand on Jon's shoulder and shook him. "Jon, it's a dream," he said. "Jon. Wake up." 

It didn't work still, the grip of the nightmare unrelenting. Jon turned his face and buried it into the pillow, his voice muffled but ever-more urgent as begs and apologies cascaded from his lips.

"Jon!" Martin repeated, shaking him a little harder.

Jon awoke with a jerk, shooting upright so fast he nearly headbutted Martin. Like a drowning man breaking through the water surface, he gasped desperately, struggling with gulps after gulps of air, and his eyes frantically scanned the room. 

When his gaze landed on Martin, realisation set into those obsidian eyes and he began to relax. Gently, Martin slid his palm over the back of Jon's hand, which slowly turned over to slot its fingers into the gaps between Martin's. "I'm sorry," he said between breaths. 

"Don't be," he replied, rubbing tight circles with his thumb over Jon's knuckle. "You apologise too much over things that aren't your fault."

Jon let out a deprecating laugh. "You'd be the first to think that."

"I'm serious," he said. "Sometimes bad things happen. But they're not your responsibility to bear."

The other man fell silent, but Martin could sense it wasn't out of agreement. He drew his legs towards his chest and picked at the skin of his knees nervously.  "I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

"I know."

"I watch them, Martin. At night, when they fall asleep, I will be in their nightmares, watching them in my own sleep." His voice wavered. "I trap them there."

"The Eye trapped them there. It wasn't you," Martin said. "You would do anything to release those people. I know you would. You are just as trapped as they are in there."

Jon let out a shaky huff of bitter laughter. "I hate this," he said. Then, his eyes grew distant as they stared wistfully up at the ceiling, or rather something far beyond it. As though if he looked up long and hard enough, the sky would give him an answer.

Slowly, Martin pulled his boyfriend's hand up, coaxing Jon back down to earth, before kissing his fingers lightly. "I'm here for you."

Jon's face twisted, and Martin would bet if it weren't for the dim lights, there would be an obvious blush on his face. This theory was further supported when he thrusted his face into Martin's collarbone and made a noise between a hum and a grunt. 

The sound made Martin chuckle and he wrapped his thick arms around his boyfriend, enveloping his shaky figure with warmth.

"You're too nice to me," Jon breathed, his own arms sliding around Martin's middle and his fingers grasping at fabric.

"Silly Billy," he said, running his fingers through long wavy greying hair. "I love you, Jon."

His nose squished against Martin's chest as he replied, "Mm… 'ove you too."

**Author's Note:**

> FINGER KISSES!!! *pterodactyl screams* "But Nycto, when will you write them actually kissing? On the lips?" My answer: WHO KNOWS!! Kisses gross me out on the worst of days and is pretty meh on the best of days. And since our dear archivist is Free (Ace) Real Estate, Im taking some creative liberties.
> 
> Alright, more serious now. I'm so soft for sleeping together. Also, Im projecting onto Martin in the "Im scared that once I fall asleep I'll lose The Thing." Not a lover. I dont got one. But yeh. Also, yall can rip sleeping-together fics out of my cold dead hands.
> 
> I'm [here](https://nyctolovian.tumblr.com) on tumblr btw so uhhh follow me for shenanigans! Also, kudos or comments are greatly appreciated :D


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